sans Hiatus

25 Mar

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I was on a hiatus. From blogging? No, from many things, basically life. I would say that I couldn’t blog because what I was going through was too personal but that wasn’t true. I was on a hiatus from living.
I was living for the future. Waiting for things to get better so that I could start on something. I have to wait till I was done with school to plan a holiday. I had to wait till I had lots of money to buy a bike. There was always something that needed to be sorted before I could do something. I call it FOLO (fear of living out). You see, FOLO is the extreme opposite of YOLO (you only live once). There isn’t any carpe diem in FOLO, the assumption is that time is in abundance and that it is also at a standstill.

I know someone in the Bible who had FOLO.  She was Martha the sister to Mary. As Mary was sitter at Jesus’ feet enjoying the moment, she was being a busy body. She wanted everything to be perfect so that she would finally feel like she had the right to sit at Jesus feet. Martha assumed that Jesus would always be around and she could always get to sit at His feet next time or the next if the meatloaf took too long to bake.
Jesus did not approve of FOLO. He said it was not a good thing. What Mary had chosen, to be in the moment was the better choice (Luke 10:38-42). Another part of Scripture discourages FOLO altogether. It paints it as a futile, wasteful exercise that does not add a single hour to a person’s life (Matthew 6:27).

FOLO had robbed me of my true self. I had no time to enjoy the things I love. I was not reading books or listening to music. I was busy researching and reading articles and plotting for ways I could forge my way in life. After the hiatus, I’m relieved that the burden and total responsibility of writing my future is not entirely on me. I have Someone who is able and willing to guide me. Hiatus done over now!

 Isaiah 58:11New International Version (NIV)

11 The Lord will guide you always;
    he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
    and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
    like a spring whose waters never fail.

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