Of sucky men and God’s plans

30 Nov

Sucky ˈsʌki/ adjective

very bad or unpleasant.

So what do I mean by sucky men? Very bad or unpleasant may be an overstatement for me, an understatement for some (don’t I know it). I mean those guys who don’t treat the women around them with respect in one way or another. Those who talk disrespectfully about their girlfriends behind their back or even in their face. Those who cheat on their significant other. Even those boys who lead on girls and then just move on with their lives seemingly unscarred. That’s my PG version of sucky!
But that is not what I want to dwell on in this post. I was reading one of my favorite blogs and she has stopped writing in it and opened a new chapter. She has had a fair share of sucky men but now she has found love that I could describe as “love that finally makes sense”. This is the kind of love I want to talk about.
I got back from Kigali early this week and it was such a breath of fresh air to be in a different country and culture. I was at my friend’s wedding and they had dated for 4 years and stuck it through in the good and bad times notwithstanding that the latter had been many. This is what I am talking about, the love that just makes sense, it is not hard and it makes both parties happy. Granted, it does have its ups and downs but both parties still want to hold on. I can shallowly compare it to my love for Ethiopian food. I love it! I enjoy eating it spicy and chilly but always get a severe tummy ache the next day. I still want to eat it though the next time, even when I remember the tummy ache that never fails.
I think God has put it such that if it is your path to meet someone, that you will do it at just the right time and it will make sense. Leave all the romantic notions we have all had. I have had it with all the sucky men I have encountered. The one where he whisks you away into the sunset, or is it sunrise? No, I am talking about the kind of person you meet and it all makes sense why you had to go through the sucky guys and why those sucky situations had to end in heartbreak to get to where you are. I am talking about God’s plan for your life. If God has a plan for your life why would He not also plan for your spouse. I do not get people who say that you can just marry anybody and it will work just fine, it’s like saying you can get into any profession and it will work out fine. Why then would I have different strengths, passions, gifts and talents from the next girl?
This is what I will tell my daughter one day. That there are sucky men out there, most of them don’t flat out want to be sucky but they still are. I will tell her that she does not have to go through sucky guys to get through to the guy who will make sense. I will tell her to pray to God and trust that He can guide her and the man she is best fit to marry to meet. But the most important lesson I want to teach her is to trust in God. That if God has not chosen the path of marriage for her, it is because He has plans for her life that are just as great and if she sticks to His ways, she will be fulfilled in His plans.
I am drinking this water I am preaching!

2 Responses to “Of sucky men and God’s plans”

  1. thekenyaninme December 17, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

    I like. Especially this part – If God has a plan for your life why would He not also plan for your spouse. Now to drinking this water!

  2. thekenyaninme April 29, 2014 at 5:28 pm #

    I really like this post!

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