4 Jan

2010 started out pretty badly. I thought I would get a break from the string of frustrations that was 2009 but I was in for a surprise. Work got pretty stressing and uncertain. I had no motivation. I was like a zombie, up on Monday just waiting for Friday. Living off other people’s tweets and tweeting just to get through a day. This had to be the worst Valentine’s Day ever for me. I got stood up! Yes I was dressed up all pretty in red (I always wear red BTW) and everyone was commenting on how lucky the guy was.

I guess everyone could see it except him. I really liked him. (I forgave him for this or so I think)

Come March and I get myself into a relationship, I knew I was being hasty but pushed aside any doubts I had.

5 months down the line, we had not grown and I was more hurt than loved. I knew I should have done what was right but I did not until 4 months had passed from then. I did this in obedience to God. I can tell it was the right thing to do because I do not feel like pulling my hair out and I do not lie in bed crying about it. I know it was right because these days as I speak to God, it is not a cry of pain, fear and frustration. It is a cry of hopeful waiting. I am finally learning to trust Him. I have no regrets.

In all fairness, there were some good times in the relationship. It was not all hurtful; I had quite some laughs and fun times. I came to learn that the problems I had in my life were internal. I was not listening to God and was trying to take control of my life like I could handle it.

This end of the year I can truly testify that the Lord has answered ALL my prayers and even exceeded them. I asked Him to put me in the line of His will for me and He did. I asked Him to give me a way out of my status in the relationship and He gave me a way out. I asked Him to heal my uncle from Leukemia and protect my mum during her surgery and He did both. I asked Him for divine ideas at work and He gave them to me. I asked Him to speak to me and He did, loudly and clearly. I prayed for provision and He came through. I prayed for comfort for my friends and He delivered. I prayed that He removes fear from my life and He made me bold.

I am at peace and I have joy. He is forming me, I can feel it. I just want to relish this atmosphere that is around me. This could be favor unmerited or I must have done something right.

So this coming year I am working on the relationships in my life: with God, with acquaintances and friends. I am done with hiding behind social networks and a busy front. This will be a year of giving and giving unconditionally.

That is my resolution for 2011.

Yesterday left my head kicked in

I never never thought that I would fall like that

Never knew that I could hurt this bad

Am learning to breathe

Am learning to crawl

Am finding that You and You alone can break my fall

Am living again

Awake and alive

Am dying to breathe in these abundant skies

(Learning to Breathe, Switchfoot)



  1. rockhead January 6, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    Inspirational! God always comes through 🙂

  2. Suetiful January 17, 2011 at 5:49 am #

    Love this new girl even more. Hope the year is ten fold more beautiful than the end of 2010 was. Im so happy4u!!

  3. nkirdizzle January 18, 2011 at 7:39 am #

    Reading this post has given me more faith in the power of prayers. Now I know whom to send my prayer requests to 🙂
    All the best in 2011!!

  4. confessionsofasoapaholic February 13, 2011 at 1:58 am #

    Wow!Am so glad about the great things God has done and will continue to do in your life!
    Definitely an Inspirational post!
    may 2011 be all that you hope for and more

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