16 Nov

My friend was being criticized about her personality. Apparently she reveals things that other people would normally keep secret. She beat herself up about her ‘openness’ for a while so one day as we were chatting I asked her “And who sets these standards?”.

I look at women who have done things that have been seen as strange. Look at Wangari Maathai a humble woman who fought for what she believed in and it was not until some blood, tears and years later that people appreciated her and her efforts. Just look around at our local women, be it our mothers or aunts. They stay in abusive or loveless marriages for their children. As stupid as we may think they are, they don’t care. All they care about is that they are sacrificing for their children. This could be a whole year’s debate but you have to appreciate their motivation.

When I was in campus I would sometimes feel like I did not fit in. While guys loved crank music, it was rock for me. I loved chubby dudes (you did not know that about me), didn’t matter the color and no one would understand why. Fun to me was not what others considered it to be. Bowed to pressure a few times but finally decided to be true to myself. And it is only after this that I began knowing myself and loving me. And through this lifetime lesson that is called life I have started realizing what is beneficial and what is not regardless of what the world is shouting on the other side.

What is the S.I Unit for coolness, success or even happiness. Is it car keys or an ever present smile on my face? Who sets these standards? What is beauty really! Who has authority to define it, who created any being in order to judge its appearance.

My mother belongs to a group of women who wear these ugly headscarves and one day I asked her about the group and why she treasured being a member so much.

“You see these people who sneer at us because we are up and down every Sunday, they don’t understand that I wear this scarf that you call ugly because what it represents is bigger than me. The way this guild impacts the society and those who are in need is more important than what we wear and what people think of us. We are doing God’s work and that’s what matters”.

Is not being in this world and having the privilege to do God’s work all that matters. Why do we have to go judging others and ourselves as if we do not have enough on our own plates!

Am falling out

Of grace with the world they say I’ve lost my mind

This touch would turn to gold now turns to rust

Am falling out of line with all the stars aflood

My dreams are their guitars and magazines

Am falling out

Of style with the current way things are

It seems that make conforming hard

Am out here

Way beyond

A shadow of a doubt

I know I’m never falling out

Of favor with You

(Relient K)


9 Responses to “WHO SETS THE STANDARD”

  1. tricia November 17, 2009 at 1:29 pm #

    Your mum rocks!
    Sometimes i wish that back in campus i had the courage to do me and not care what anyone says coz its me…
    Thats why we are different…we weren’t made to clone each other, likes, dislikes and what not..i learnt it later on..

    • lilburdy November 23, 2009 at 7:01 pm #

      I also learnt with experience and some hurts. At least you have a him…(am not envious at all)

  2. rockhead November 18, 2009 at 12:17 pm #

    Peer pressure…glad you do your own thing now, except when it comes to…ahem…The One.
    Finally, a post, am glad your writer’s block is over.

    • lilburdy November 23, 2009 at 6:58 pm #

      Domestics we discuss in private…but si I told you I made a resolve that I plan on sticking to

  3. nkirdizzle November 23, 2009 at 2:06 pm #

    yeah finally a post. who is this relient K you and wanjagi keep quoting??
    Your not the only one into chubby notes, our friend shares the same sentiments. but it is really look that you are comfortable in your own skin and that you do not conform to what society thinks is cool!!

  4. nkirdizzle November 23, 2009 at 2:07 pm #

    oops I meant chubby dudes lol

    • lilburdy November 23, 2009 at 6:52 pm #

      I would not say am totally with it, sometimes I have my insecurities but I learnt that even people like Angelina Jolie have those too. Relientk are only the coolest rock band ever you should look for their songs, they are funky. They are on twitter too

    • lilburdy November 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm #

      there’s just something about chubby dudes I cant explain

  5. colouredinsepia November 25, 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    ya..im with nkirdizzle I wanna know who wanjagi is 🙂 being comfy in ur skin is a lesson most girls learn too late in life and sadly so…so glad for a new post..keep them coming!!!

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