My First Kiss

20 May

Today has been a whirlwind of feelings and emotions (pretty much like everyday of my life). The day started out with me thinking of the many ways I am advantaged and now I cant help but count my blessings. Then I had to remember that one silly thing I did years ago.

So today I talked with my first and therefore currently ex-boyfriend. We were a couple around 10 years ago. It started out with peer pressure. Everyone had a boyfriend in school and I, not wanting to be left out started scanning the guys. I did have a crush in school previously but I wrote him a poem with lovely pictures telling him how I felt. See, he was a year older therefore you can imagine how much courage it took for me to reveal my feelings. So he gets my note and sends a message immediately. He threatens to beat me! And he had big bodied (giants) friends who could beat me to a pulp!  That put me off to the extent that my feelings for him died an abrupt death.

There is a thin line between love and hate!

I had never seen Nick before the day my friend ‘hooked’ us up. It was surely ‘love’ at first sight literally. We bought each other gifts I wrote him poems, love notes passed in class, gave him the occasional look of love. I loved it when he got jealous when I talked to some other guy or even hugged them. Our relationship had been romance with no feelings (at least on my part), I came to realize I just wanted to be seen to have a boyfriend and be ‘in’.

So we moved on to the next step. The KISSING. This was going to be my first kiss and I had dreamt and fantasized about it many times. It was going to be very romantic and I would float in air and fall more in love (just like Elizabeth and Todd in the Sweet Valley books). It turned out worse than I could ever imagine. We kissed inside his gate with onlookers (our friends, the evil manipuators) acting as judges. They thought that the first time was not toungy enough (like they would know). The second time was more like a peck on the lips, they said. All this time in my head I was going YUCK! The kiss was slurpy and there was too much saliva going round and we had to do it many times until the judges were satisfied. That was the other problem. My first kiss was meant to be an intimate and private moment with my boyfriend. Clearly not!

So that evening I dumped the guy. I did not blame him for the unfortunate turn of events, just that I realized it was not worth it if I had no feelings for him. I was just using him and it was not fair.

It was not going to be until 5 years later when I would have my second and most memorable kiss, ok maybe not most but more memorable.

Funny how the world works, because my very close friend lives in that house (where I had my first kiss) currently and I am tortured with the memory everytime I visit. Only that it is not really a torture anymore. After years I got to see it as a funny story and a memory. A silly memory.

So today as we chatted (I have not seen him in more than 5 years) and decided to set up a date and meet,  I could not help but remember that kiss. Aaaaaargh!


3 Responses to “My First Kiss”

  1. Sista C October 2, 2009 at 10:38 am #

    A rili nasty first kiss.eeeewwww!!! i hope the ones that followed were better. wink!wink! my first kiss was nnniiiicccceeeee. but years later, the guy told me that my kiss then was lousy. and the way i thot i was on point!!!but i believe i have grown better with time.
    Gosh!!! the things we gals talk about!!

    • lilburdy October 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm #

      Oh my sista c, I would rather have a bad first kiss than think it was nice and it wasn’t. Will be laughing about this all your life hi hi


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